Urban Counter-terrorism

Have you ever had dark thoughts concerning a noisy neighbor? We have had some bad karma blowback these last few years – it is probably karmic owning to the public disturbances I made back in the day (albeit in a touristic neighborhood with a medical school on one side and hotels on the other). The previous nuisance we had was dealt with by purchasing the neighbor’s living room and thus eliminating the zone from which the disurbances were emanating (I am not making that up!) This time, it is more complicated because it is the upstairs neighbor’s son and there is no question of buying them out :(

So here’s the deal, Sunday night super loud music and conversation from 1am to 3am. Somehow, we kept our calm thinking that it was a one-off kind of thing. However, last night, the party went from 11pm and was still going when I left for work at 8h30, no joke. After I yelled the first time, the music was turned down. But, since the guy has these mega-bass speakers, the ceiling still rumbled rhythmically making sleep difficult. And the conversation just kept going. It woke my daughter up sending me upstairs – angrier this time – to knock on the door again. It took more than an hour to calm my daughter down to sleep…then at 5am we were all three woken again by some noise – laughter, shouting,slamming doors, furniture seemingly dragged and banged on the floor… This made me postal. I may have fractured a wrist pounding on the front door – no one bothered to answer – until another neighbor asked me to stop…a nightmare if I resume.

Profile of the urban noise terrorist: male or female between 16 and 25 years old student or unemployed with rich or upper middle-class parents that are often absent, shitty musical taste, loud obnoxious friends, and suffering from insomnia and inngeneral they have a “don’t give a shit about anything” attitude.

How to fight back? Good question.
First method: call the cops. Well, they almost never come. I mean as long as the brats don’t try to burn the building down (yes, we had that once too!), the cops don’t give a rat’s ass about your call. Just an empty threat you can make – effective against minors in their parent’s place (when the parents aren’t there), but mostly inefficient and an exercise infrustration.

For minors, call the parents. This only works if you know them and they are decent people.that was the case the previous go-round but this time, the mom is incredibly unfriendly and has a chip onher shoulder so that is out.

So, other ideas include: get the phone number and set the fax on autoredial to that number. With some hope this will drive them crazy or perhaps duct tape their doorbell so that it rings constantly. Ok, so it is a short and pathetic list but short of a hired gun or accidentally pushing them down stairs, I am wondering what else can be attempted. Any ideas are welcome – as long they are legal :p

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