I was thinking about the difference between fear and dread. I think fear is suspecting something bad is going to happen, whereas dread is knowing it will. Right now, I am dreading tax season like I do every year. As an American citizen living abroad, I have to file a local French return here, but an American one as well. It is kind of like having a root canal and getting your wisdom teeth pulled a the same time. Not fun. I also dread bedtime with the kids because I know that 9 times out of 10, getting my 2-year old to sleep will be an uphill battle. Ok, so these aren’t exactly unusual events, in fact they are respectively annual and nightly ones, but the very consistency of them installs loathing. Sometimes life loses its charm and I focus one the annoying things rather than the positive ones. I guess that I figured writing this post would exorcise some of the loathing and remind me of life’s little joys like the onset of spring tonight and the beginning of Paris nipple season.
As for bad things coming in threes, I dread when I get two rotten apples because more often than not, there is a third one there in the bottom of the bag. I wrote a few days ago about my friend having his iPhone lifted. Perhaps it is total coincidence, but we lent my wife’s bike to our parttime babysitter from Germany to ease her getting around town. It was a bit of a pain because we had taken the bike to the in-laws in want of space and I just brought it back like a week or two ago to lend it out. Well as bad luck would have it, the girl’s brother rang our bell a few hours ago and informed us in a sheepish voice that it was jacked by the Canal St Martin. Uh oh, that little interior voice said, two down, what’s the next thing to get ripped off? Well, I hope that it ends here but there is that dread. Now the risk is that a Freudian slip will rear up its head and I will be unconsciously careless about my wallet or iPhone or something. Or, once again, perhaps writing about it will serve as the proverbial salt over ny shoulder, only time will tell.
I think that much of the music I listen to – in particular my recent fixation on Metallica – deals with feelings of dread and loathing and that perhaps for James Hetfield, writing about impending doom is his process of dealing. Mine is writing about it.
Happy Springtime O reader. May the warm weather thaw out our cold hearts as we slip into tax season, election season, and the next three quarters of 2012 – and, no, I have no dread about Nostrodamus being right 😏