It feels like a long losing streak stretching back at least to Oblivion or perhaps all the way to The Avengers. What a crock of crapola sci-fi / fantasy / geek movies of late. Sheesh. I will go see Pacific Rim in two weeks but in the meantime, a small NSFCCDP group including Mr. Instagram, m.poulet, and 2112.net headed out last night to see World War Z and were pretty much universally disappointed. The premise is built around a zombie apocalypse featuring the “haul-ass” style zombies from the Dawn of the Dead remake (or although I haven’t seen it yet, 28 Days After) and the superstar Brad Pitt. But it simply doesn’t work. Brad Pitt seems like a breastless equivalent to Kirsten Stewart or perhaps he was just imitating Ben Affleck in that his facial expression never really changes. Worse, he has NO character flaws, not a one. Like I said in my Man of Steel review, I need a hero to have a weakness or at least some kind of flaw that could jeopardise his mission. Brad was just the Super Dad, Super Husband, Super Spy-get-em-out-alive-dude, Super Always-on-the-right-side-since-he-was-ONU, Super Feel-no-pain-even-with-airplane-pieces-sticking-out-of-him…too fucking perfect to have me develop any sympathy with his character at all. If that stupid chattering zombie dude had got him (no spoilers but you’ll see what I mean should you be dumb enough to spend money on this or smart enough to wait for the Saturday afternoon monster mash on your local cable station), I wouldn’t have really cared. The special effects were OK but the music was totally annoying (and what was with that house music over the closing credits?!?). Mr. Instagram and 2112.net pointed out via email today that what was passed as a C-5 Galaxy was actually a Russian An-12 and the American/Israeli helicopters were both Eurocopter Dauphins, so hardly accurate there. Budget issues perhaps? There were loads of plot holes (how did the ex-CIA-arms-dealer-to-the-N-Koreans know the guy in Israel? And how does a C-5 (or An-12) go from Korea to Israel on 45 seconds worth of gas? What the hell was that painter’s ladder that descends from the cockpit (!!!) of the Belarus Boeing? Really?) It was awful. And – at least to me – the greatest crime here – a happy fucking ending? This was a ZOMBIE movie. ZOMBIE movies do NOT end well! Was there ever even a shred of doubt that Brad would reunite with his family? (Sorry for the spoiler but you can not possibly watch this movie and not KNOW INTRINSICALLY in your bones that he will survive and see his family intact). Come on Hollywood! Did all the good writers abandon the movie lots and go to television? Will you even make another movie that is not just a smorgasbord of special effects with plodding storyline and pointless drama? Why are there no stakes at all in these films anymore?
So, like the previously reviewed movies here, this one gets only 1.5/5.0 and that is being generous.
- NSFCCDP Movie Review: Star Trek Into Darkness – Where did all the good writers go? POLLS AT END!! (mfinocchiaro.wordpress.com)
- World War Z (2013) (chadwickhsaxelid.typepad.com)
- In Theaters: World War Z (omskivar.wordpress.com)
- Zombie Movies for the Purist (hispanicbusiness.com)