NSFCCDP Movie Review: The Hobbit III (2015) – WTF was that?

The_Hobbit_-_The_Battle_of_the_Five_ArmiesI know I should have expected it, but this movie was actually worse and less satisfying than I feared it would be.  It was perhaps even worse than the first two abortive films in the series, The Hobbit I and The Hobbit II. The only thing that saves this film from being a waste of 35 mm film stock is Martin Freeman’s acting – he is the only cast member that is not trying too hard and has a semblance of subtlety. Because this movie is about as subtle as a bulldozer in a Beijing hutong. It just blindsides the user being loud and pandering and idiotic. Take the battle scene at Dale, please. We never know who is winning or losing (although we never have the slightest doubt that the humans will ultimately triumph), folks are slaughtered left and right but Bard and his two daughters escape without the slightest scrape, and Bilbo apparently is the world’s greatest rock thrower apparently able to kill orcs by simply lobbying pebbles into their skulls. It was very, very close to insulting. Oh, and then you have Bilbo taking exactly 35 seconds to get from Dale to Ravenhill despite it being seemingly miles away and 1000 ft straight up. Everything was just so ridiculous. And the acting of Thorin was pathetic – particularly his moonwalk and feigned indecision while talking through the hole in the wall to Bard. Honestly, there was little to redeem this film and one is actually relieved that there is no more Tolkein for Peter Jackson to mutilate at this point. Oh, and I didn’t even complain about the overbearing Romeo and Juliette story between Tauriel and Killi which was ridiculous and way too long and drawn out or the stupid hearing-voices sequence with Thorin. I think you should save your money and just catch this one on Netflix folks. Next up, a rating of the NSDCCDP 2014 movies we saw…


About mfinocchiaro

IT Architecture Guru for large PLM software company but dabbling in Web 2.0 and other stuff.
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